


A Beginner's Guide to Empressing

by canufeelthemagictonight



Category: Escape the Night (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Ancient China, Arranged Marriage, Awkward Conversations, Cinnamon Roll Rosanna Pansino, Gen, Gender Roles, Missing Scene, The Emperor's mother MIGHT have issues, mother-in-law, takes place during s4 ep 4, the author is trying her best not to screw up Ancient China, who is also plotting murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 02:30:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19984585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canufeelthemagictonight/pseuds/canufeelthemagictonight
Summary: "The wedding will happen shortly," continues the Emperor's mother, adjusting Rosanna's outfit a little as she talks, "but before then, it falls to me to explain what will be expected of you as my son's wife."While everyone else does their regularly scheduled Voting Time, Rosanna gets a crash course on how to be a good little wife for the Emperor. She does her best to be proper...whatever that means.An Escape the Night one shot.





	A Beginner's Guide to Empressing

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize in advance for probably accidentally getting some Ancient Chinese custom wrong. Please remember that I am very clueless and very white.

"I will make the wedding arrangements," says the Emperor's mother, her hands on Rosanna's shoulders almost possessively. 

The Emperor departs in one direction, presumably to primp himself up for the wedding, while the Sorceress leads Gabbie, Tana, and Colleen away in the opposite direction. Before she knows it, Rosanna is alone with the Emperor's mother.

 _Okay. Okay._ Rosanna's glad that she won the position of fiancé to the Emperor, if only because she's now safe from the upcoming death challenge, but now that she's all by herself with a woman she doesn't know, the reality of her situation is beginning to sink in. _Is my hairpin securely fastened?_ She wants to fiddle with it, but she knows that now is _so_ not the time. _All I gotta do is marry him, and then I can kill him, and then we'll be one step closer to getting out of here._

She never thought that she'd _ever_ contemplate murder, but life is funny like that.

When the Empress speaks, it's in Mandarin Chinese, and Rosanna thanks the Lord that she proved her ability to speak that language a few minutes ago. "What is your name, dear?"

"Pansino Rosanna." The Socialite stops herself from adding her usual footnote of _but my friends call me Ro,_ because she knows that such a nickname wouldn't be very Chinese of her. Besides, she doesn't plan on making friends with the Emperor's mother. Which is saying something, considering how eager she usually is to make new friends.

"Well, Pansino Rosanna," says the Emperor's mother in a voice sweet enough to give Rosanna a stomachache, "let me be the first to congratulate you on winning my son's heart. Oh, it has been a _nightmare_ trying to find him a suitable bride, and I am _quite_ grateful that fate has finally smiled upon us tonight."

"I am grateful as well, my lady," Rosanna replies, her Mandarin accent wobbling. "Your son is very..." _Handsome? No. Nice? Not really._ "Interesting."

The Emperor's mother laughs. "It is nothing. He has always been an interesting boy."

"I can tell." _I hope Mom-In-Law doesn't figure out that I'm planning on murdering him with a hairpin._

"The wedding will happen shortly," continues the Emperor's mother, adjusting Rosanna's outfit a little as she talks, "but before then, it falls to me to explain what will be expected of you as my son's wife. You and your companions are clearly...not from China." Her nose turns up slightly. "It will not do for a foreigner such as yourself to be unprepared for the life that awaits you here."

Rosanna has no intention of remaining in this life, but she nods politely anyway.

"First of all, you are to carry yourself with dignity at all times. You are to be dutiful, good-mannered, elegant, and always, _always_ on your best behavior, especially when interacting with the rest of the court or with foreign dignitaries."

 _That makes sense,_ thinks Rosanna.

"Secondly, as one of the very few women at court, you are present to be seen, not heard. Do not draw attention to yourself. That would only take attention away from where attention should be, which is, of course, on my son."

This command strikes Rosanna as a tad egocentric. From what she's seen of the Emperor, he _certainly_ doesn't need any help inflating his ego, and it sounds like he doesn't want a wife so much as he wants a pretty decoration to put beside him while he does Emperor things. His mother is no better. _The world doesn't revolve around your son, even if he _is_ the Emperor._

"Third of all, my son takes tea with rice in bed every morning. You _do_ know how to make tea with rice, don't you?"

"I do!" chirps Rosanna proudly.

"Very good. Our servants do most of the cooking, but none of them are up as early as my son, so it will fall to you to prepare his morning meal and deliver it to him in his bedchamber."

 _Hmm. So I gotta be proper, I can't draw attention to myself, and I gotta make the Emperor breakfast in bed every morning. Boy, I'm learning a lot about being a good wife!_ Rosanna grins. _Maybe this stuff will come in handy...if I ever get into a marriage that lasts longer than a few minutes._

"Finally, and this is the most essential part of all, my son _must_ have an heir. The Dragon Rebellion is at our gates, and they will take his head if he does not secure his legacy before it is too late."

_Oh, really? Neat! Maybe I won't have to kill him after all! Maybe the Dragon Rebellion will do the killing for me!_

"So," concludes the Emperor's mother, "it is of the utmost importance that you bear him a son as soon as possible." She steps back and tilts her head. "You appear to have suitable birthing hips. That is good. If my son calls upon your bedchamber at least once a night, I suspect you will be with child before the new moon, and the Dragon Rebels will trouble us no more."

Rosanna is uncomfortable with all this talk of pregnancy, so after quickly reassuring herself that no one's going to "call upon her bedchamber" tonight, she changes the subject. "What was it like for you? Being married to an Emperor, I mean?"

"It gave me my child," is the Emperor's mother's too-quick response. "For that, I am grateful." Her eyes dart to the floor briefly, as if she is remembering something unpleasant, but she quickly regains her composure and smiles at her protege. "I have a good feeling about you, Pansino Rosanna. You seem like you will make an excellent wife for my son."

For a moment, Rosanna feels a pang of empathy towards the older woman. "I hope that I live up to your expectations, my lady." She knows that she won't, since if all goes well, the Emperor won't live to see his honeymoon. But it's better to let the Emperor's mother believe that everything will be all right.

After all, that's the proper thing to do.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, they were speaking in Mandarin Chinese throughout this whole story. I can only assume that both the Emperor and his mother were taught English at some point, otherwise this would've been a very different episode.


End file.
